‘Do you and your partner ever like to pin each other down during sex? Or maybe scratch and bite at each other a little, or even experiment with some light spanking? All this falls into the considerably broad category of BDSM, albeit very lightly. ‘In fact, it’s more than likely that, if assessing your regular sexual habits, you have already engaged in a little BDSM already,’ they explain. The sexperts say that it is important to stress that BDSM doesn’t have to involve the cliché latex outfits and whips, let alone anything as dramatic as sex dungeons or humiliation (although this is all perfectly acceptable if you’re both into it). ![]() If you’ve got past the most difficult stage – bringing up your desire in the first place – you now need to work out exactly how to introduce BDSM into your relationship. ‘You both need to be incredibly open with how you feel and what you want – before, during and after.’ ‘Just remember that for BDSM to work, it’s essential that both parties are interested and no one feels pressured into doing something they don’t want to do. Who knows, they might even suggest BDSM first. ‘You could even begin by asking them if they have any unexplored kinks or fantasies themselves. ‘You could leave them a saucy note, or watch a particularly kinky film together,’ suggest the sexperts. ‘Bringing this up doesn’t have to mean straight-forward verbal communication, if this feels way too scary,’ the experts add. If you have a good level of trust with your partner, then (although it may still seem daunting) there should be no issue in making them aware of your fantasies and desires. They explain it like this – if you already have a poor level of trust with your partner, you probably shouldn’t engage in BDSM anyway. After all, the most successful relationships rely on honest, compassionate communication.’ ![]() ![]() ‘If you want to try out some BDSM, however, communication is the first step. ‘Especially with the one person you never want to be judged by. ‘It can be incredibly daunting to bring up an interest in something that society is typically judgmental about,’ the sexperts tell us. ‘Whilst many (especially beginners) will engage in a considerably light and playful form of BDSM, it’s important to understand that there are risks of both physical and mental harm when engaging in this erotic practice.’ĭespite the fact that our significant other should be the one person we can talk to about anything, deep down we all know it’s not that simple. ‘Regardless of what tools, toys or techniques you choose to experiment with, we can’t emphasise enough just how important these guidelines are,’ they add. The Satisfied Box sexperts explain that there are a couple of community guidelines that stress the necessity of these concepts: ‘No two dynamics are the same, and communication will be an integral part of your kinky endeavors.’ Communication, trust and consentĬommunication isn’t the only important thing between you and your partner, you also need a great deal of trust and, of course, consent. ‘The way you choose to practice BDSM depends entirely on your, and your partner’s, preferences,’ say the sexperts. You certainly can, if you would like, but BDSM involves engaging in any one or more of these elements. The first thing to acknowledge is that just because you’re interested in BDSM, it doesn’t mean you need to practice all of the above. There is a bit of a debate on exactly what this four-lettered acronym means: ![]() This is, of course, the first question that needs to be answered. "No" means you would not do it under any circumstances, 1 means you would do it if a partner really wanted you to (but there's no sexual charge for you at all), and 5 means it's insanely erotic to you.But, if you’re interested in giving BDSM a try from a novice perspective, the sexperts at Satisfied Box are on hand to answer all of your awkward questions: What is BDSM? The first is whether the person has done the activity, and the second is how much they enjoy the activity, or how much they want to try it.įor each activity, select whether you have tried it, and how much you like it (or the idea of it, if you haven't done it yet). I have decide to complete a checklist which I have found on another blog website.
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